


Unappreciated by all except you

by mordredllewelynjones



Series: Nygmobblepot alternate timeline [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Gotham (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternative Timeline, Angst, Blood, Ed has a crush on Oswald, Ed is low key obsessed, Ed is terrible at socialising, First Meetings, Fluff, Happy ending for Ed and Oswald, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Murder, Oswald likes him anyway, Season/Series 01, Violence, bullock is a jerk, ed fanboying over oswald, gotham season one, he is just as bad at flirting, he just gives off a slight stalker vibe by accident, lee is nice, possibly/probably ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-13 17:11:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14117049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mordredllewelynjones/pseuds/mordredllewelynjones
Summary: Edward Nygma is used to being like a shadow, unnoticed and unappreciated. Then one day he sees someone who is just like him yet completely different at the same time. Oswald Cobblepot, The Penguin. A man who, though by no means invisible, is seemingly underestimated by everyone he meets. Not by Ed however.A Nygmobblepot fic set in Gotham Season one. Alternative timeline/au.No sex or rude stuff in this story.





	1. All eyes on him

Edward Nygma would never forget the first time he saw Oswald Cobblepot.

  
There had been rumours floating around the GCPD for days that Jim Gordon had killed a man going by that name, possibly on Don Falcone's orders, but Ed had paid them little attention. He kept his ears to the ground at all times of course, what better place to find out what's going on in the city than in the police station right? , but police politics was of no interest to him. It was useful stuff to know but by no means thrilling to hear about. So Ed gave the rumours little mind, that was until Jim Gordon was dragged, handcuffed, into the GCPD by Montoya and Alan from Major Crimes.

  
"I didn't shoot Cobblepot" Jim announced but his words landed on deaf ears "I lied. I didn't shoot him, Bullock. " "Of course you didn't partner" Bullock replied with a feigned innocence that would convince no one. He was a terrible actor. "No, I mean it" Jim insisted desperately. Ed drew closer whilst trying to remain discrete, waiting to see how this played out. "Harvey Bullock, you are under arrest" Montoya said with a barely suppressed sigh. " For what?! " Bullock cried indignantly as Alan snapped on the cuffs. " Accomplice to the murder of Oswald Cobblepot" the MCU detective replied  "we have a witness who places you at the scene." "You think you can walk in here and take my people like that?" said Captain Essen, outraged. "We're not here to take down the GCPD. We just want these two" Montoya snapped. "Well they're GCPD so the MCU has a problem" Essen replied threateningly. "Yeah, you got a problem!" Bullock chimed in unhelpfully.

  
Before the argument could become more heated the main door opened, causing everyone to turn and gawk at the man who had just walked into the room. For such a small man, he certainly commanded a huge stage presence and there was something about him that seemed to radiate power. Ed had to admit that Oswald was certainly brave, if the rumours of Falcone's involvement were to be believed. Here was a man who was wanted dead by the mob yet here he stood in front of the entire GCPD task force, confident and in control.

  
"Hello" Oswald announced with an amused chuckle "My name is Oswald Cobblepot." He gave an over the top bow as all eyes in the room stared at him. He smiled smugly and despite hearing stories that Oswald was no more than Fish's umbrella boy Ed found himself overcome with a sudden surge of respect for the well-dressed man in front of him. He could tell that here was a man it would be dangerous to underestimate.


	2. Bonding over toiletries

"Detective Bullock!"

  
Ed watched from a distance as Harvey made his way over to where Penguin was being held. Ed would be lying if he said that he hadn't been keeping a casual eye out for news regarding the criminals activities, he was an individual that Ed found inexplicably fascinating.

  
"Please, sir, I beg of you" Penguin cried desperately as, after a brief conversation, Bullock turned to walk away "My patron, Don Maroni, is obviously unaware of my predicament. A simple phone call would resolve things; I'm sure." "But you see" Bullock replied with a look of fake pity "I like having you here. I can sit at my desk and look at you. It's soothing, like a bonsai tree." Penguin stared at him in utter disbelief as Bullock then turned and walked over to his desk without another word.

  
Edward hung back for a moment, unsure what his next move was going to be. He wasn't going to deny, the urge to officially meet Oswald Cobblepot was one that was difficult to resist. However, he doubted his colleges would take to kindly to him 'socializing' with a known criminal without valid reason. Still, he felt drawn to Penguin in a way that he couldn't really explain. The man intrigued him.

  
"Hey Nygma, have you got that analysis I asked for?" Alvarez called suddenly. Reluctantly Ed got back to work. His decision on what to do about his 'Penguin problem' would have to wait.

  
***************************************************************************************

  
"Hello."

  
Oswald looked up irritably from his perch on the uncomfortable bench that was the only furnishing in his shared cell. A tall man in a lab coat and glasses was smiling at him a little too widely. "Yes?" Oswald snapped, getting grudgingly to his feet as Gabe continued to snore loudly.

  
"Without an arm I am extended, I am not a gift, but I am given, I am there when you need me most but can never be expected. What am I?"

  
Oswald frowned. "Are you asking me a riddle?" he demanded, too tired and crabby to attempt figuring out the answer. "A helping hand" the man replied as he held out a moist towelette proudly. It was usually some uni's job to hand these out at the start of the morning but Ed had beaten them to it, as excuses for talking to prisoners went it wasn't the greatest but it was the best he had been able to come up with.

  
Oswald, looking nonplussed, accepted the offering with a nod of thanks before asking "Who exactly are you?" "Edward. Nygma" Ed replied with another enthusiastic smile. Oswald nodded once more although this answer had meant absolutely nothing to him. "You're not a cop" he said, merely confirming a suspicion. Edward didn't have either the sense of authority or self-assurance that one usually got with police officers. "No" Ed chuckled "I'm in forensics."

  
"And you are talking to me because?"

  
"Oh, I'm just an admirer" Ed answered before instantly realising that that hadn't sounded good. Penguin raised an eyebrow. "Let me rephrase that" Edward muttered as he pushed his glasses up his nose self-consciously. He doubted he was making a very good impression but then he guessed he should be used to that. "I dare say that would be a good idea. I'm not sure 'admirer' is the sort of word you should use when talking to a known criminal, seeing as you work for the police force and all" Oswald remarked, not quite hiding his amusement. Ed was unbelievably irritating and subtly creepy but there was something about him that seemed to draw Oswald to him. He was better company than Gabe at any rate (although that wasn't saying much.)

  
"It's just that I know what it's like to always be underestimated and unappreciated" Ed said "To never be taken seriously." At this point he threw a surprising dark look in the direction of Harvey Bullock and Oswald's curiosity was kindled. He had caught a glimpse of something unexpected in Edward during that brief moment, something all together different from the shy and seemingly subservient man he had at first taken him for. Perhaps there was more to Ed than meets the eye.

  
"Some times being underestimated can be a strength" Oswald replied carefully. "If you play your cards right" Ed finished for him eagerly "Something you certainly know how to do if rumours are to be believed." "You had better be careful or I'll think you're just trying to interrogate me" Penguin teased, surprised at how quickly he had grown accustomed to his new conversation partner. Edward didn't miss the light threat hidden behind the smile but for some reason it didn't bother him. "Oh, I'd never do that" he smirked and he had a confidence about him that seemed strangely natural for some one so clearly inexperienced at social interaction. That confidence quickly vanished however, when he caught sight of the red headed woman walking past.  
"Hello Ms Kringle" he blurted out, abandoning his conversation as he practically ran up to her. "Mr Nygma" Kristen Kringle sighed exasperatedly, stopping reluctantly.

  
"It grows and blossoms, it dies and wilts, it happens in the beginning and happens in the end, it can make you cry, it can make you sad, it can make you smile and can make you brave. What is it?"

  
"Mr Nygma" Kristen snapped "Why do you insist on tormenting me with these constant riddles?!" "Tormenting seems like a strong word" Ed muttered but Kristen paid him no attention. She took a deep breath as she composed herself. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some filing to do" she said sheepishly before turning on her heel and walking off without another word. "It was nice talking to you" Edward called after her forlornly, but he received no reply. A snort of laughter from behind him brought his attention back to Penguin once more.

  
"What?" he asked, glaring furiously. He didn't like being laughed at. Oswald raised an eyebrow before saying "I Hate to break it to you my friend but she isn't the least bit interested. You're wasting your time." There was a moments silence as they both took a moment to reflect on the unusual turn their conversation had taken, the last thing either of them had expected to discuss was dating advice. Ed heaved a heavy sigh. He knew deep down that Penguin was right, he just couldn't understand why Kristen didn't seem to like him. "But those muscled morons she hangs around with can hardly provide very interesting company. Surely there's something I can do" he argued despondently. Oswald rolled his eyes. What a morning.

  
"Look, obviously clever just isn't her type and if that is the case then you probably wouldn't like her anyway. Just forget about it and move on. You can't make people like you. That much I do know. Now, unless you want to lie to or manipulate someone then I can't help you. I'm not some criminal fairy godmother and even if I was, this is way outside of my jurisdiction."

  
They both stared at each other for a moment before bursting out laughing at the strangeness of the situation. "Ok. Forget Kristen and don't treat you like a fairy godmother. Got it" Ed smiled. Before anything else could be said, however, Don Maroni stormed into the GCPD. Knowing that it was time for him to disappear Ed shrunk back into the shadows and watched as Penguin called over to his 'boss.' Maroni however, didn't seem particularly pleased to see Oswald and considering the circumstances that was kind of understandable. By the sounds of the conversation that followed it seemed that Oswald had ended up jailed because he had gotten too ahead of himself and tried to raise some taxes without permission. To be honest though, Ed wasn't overly interested in that. What did grab his attention though was what Maroni said to Penguin a minute later.

  
"I like you. You're a good monkey" Maroni said as he held Oswald's face in his hands in a way that was designed to intimidate "But you are just a monkey, and I'm the zoo keeper." How Maroni failed to see the look of exquisite rage on Oswald's face was a mystery to Edward, but then again it seemed that the people of Gotham were well practiced in ignoring the obvious. Anger welled up inside him on Oswald's behalf at Maroni's words and Ed watched as the mob boss made his way to the door, glad to see the back of him.

  
For a split second he thought he saw Oswald look back at him as he was dragged out of the GCPD by Maroni but Ed quickly dismissed the idea as simply wishful thinking. He wasn't entirely sure why he had gone to talk to Penguin in the first place. He had no idea why getting the mans attention seemed to mean so much to him. It was a pointless endeavour anyway. Oswald would probably have forgotten that he even existed by the time the week was out. Ed sighed, it was something he was more than used to.


	3. A (flip-) FLOP called opening night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Time to continue with my self indulgent and most likely ooc fic where the silly chapter titles mean absolutely nothing and slow burn does not exist! Lol. :) Anyway, I don't usually do notes but this time I have something I need to announce. From chapter 5 onwards the material in this story will be rated M with a graphic violence warning. Up until then things remain in the G-T category but I thought I'd change the rating now and do this message to let you know in advance so that you will be prepared.

His next encounter with Oswald Cobblepot was brief, uneventful and one sided (if a physical encounter could even be referred to as such.) Although seeing as at the time Penguin was dealing with the backlash of having accidentally revealed to Maroni whilst he was semi conscious that he was Falcone's agent it wasn't surprising that Oswald hadn't noticed when Ed had pressed a cup of water into his hand. Oswald's visit to the GCPD that day had been short and what with the hassle with Maroni and the Electrocutioner's  attack there weren't really any opportunities for socialising. Besides, Penguin had probably forgotten all about their encounter. He probably didn't even know that Ed was alive.

Then one day, shortly after his suspension from the GCPD had been lifted, Ed saw Penguin walk through the main doors with the air of a man on a mission. Ed watched as Oswald made a beeline for Jim Gordon, who looked less than thrilled to see the man he had once been ordered to kill. Edward tried to linger at reasonable distance as he tried to listen into their conversation without being spotted. Despite many horrible experiences in his childhood as a result of eaves dropping Ed could never seem to stop himself from 'spying' on other people, especially if they were people he found interesting.

"It's good to see you old friend" Oswald said with a smile that Ed personally felt that Jim Gordon did not deserve. "What are you doing here?" Jim demanded roughly, straight to the point as usual. Unperturbed, or perhaps even unaware, of the less than warm welcome he was receiving Oswald placed a black envelope into the cops hand. "I wanted to invite you to a party I'm hosting" he continued cheerfully. Jim had the decency to at least pretend to read the invitation before declining and returning it to Oswald. 

"I hear you" Penguin replied, trying not to look too crestfallen "Too busy, I suppose. Are you on a tricky case? Anything I can help you with? " He glanced around briefly before leaning forward slightly and adding "It worked so well the last time." "I don't want your help, it was a mistake to ask the last time" Gordon growled quietly " I don't want you coming here." Penguin drew himself up to his full, but not considerable, height as he stared Jim down coldly. "You shouldn't treat me this way Jim" he said in a voice not totally devoid of anger.

"One day soon, you will need my help. You'll come to me and walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."

Oswald smiled and pressed the envelope into Jim's hand once more. "Good luck with your police work" he continued "and please, reconsider my invitation. It wont be the same without you." In a move that could only be described as heartless Gordon crumpled up the invitation and threw it in the bin before walking away, leaving Oswald gaping after him in dismay. 

Ed let out an involuntary gasp of outrage which brought Penguin's attention to him for the first time that day. Unprepared for being caught out snooping, Ed quickly turned to face the other way and pretended to be reading one of the many files that he was carrying. He didn't realise until too late that he was holding his supposed reading material upside down.

"Ed Nygma?"

Ed looked up from his file to find himself face to face with Oswald Cobblepot. He blushed scarlet. "Hello again, Mr Penguin" he mumbled as he stared at his own shoes shyly. "Oswald, please" Penguin insisted with a smile as warm as the one he had given Detective Gordon."Oswald" Ed confirmed, then finding he had nothing else to say he decided to improvise.

"Did you know that male emperor penguins keep their eggs warm by balancing them on their feet. Isn't that neat?"

As it turned out Oswald didn't agree. He heaved a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes. "Anyway" Penguin said, not quite hiding the exasperation in his voice "this is for you." He handed Edward an invitation identical to the one that Jim had rejected. "There must be some mistake" Ed replied automatically. "You're Edward Nygma, aren't you?" Oswald pointed out, half amused and half frustrated "Penguin jokes and eavesdropping aside, you are still invited. You have showed me several kindnesses during my visits here and I refuse to let them go unacknowledged." So he really did remember him, Ed realised suddenly and 'several kindnesses' suggested that the glass of water hadn't gone as unnoticed as he had thought.  The fact that Oswald had recognised and appreciated his efforts meant more to him than he could explain. 

"Oh let me assure Mr Penguin" Ed beamed "I meant no disrespect. I truly thought you would find that fact about your namesake interesting, I apologise if I was mistaken." Oswald raised an eyebrow then smiled, seeing that Edward's statement was indeed genuine. "Apology accepted" Oswald smiled and Ed felt himself relax slightly. "So you'll come?" Oswald asked eagerly. "It's a date" Ed replied cheerfully, then he mentally cursed himself. Judging by Oswald's expression however, he didn't seem to mind Ed's poor choice of words, if he did he made no effort to correct him. Ed bit his lip nervously, biting back the words he longed to utter. He knew that what he wanted to say wouldn't go down well, especially seeing as it was on a subject that Oswald would deem none of his business. Silence was not one of Edward's strong suits however.

"I am doubtful that Detective Gordon will make the same effort to attend" he blurted out "Although you obviously want him around he doesn't seem to return the sentiment. I guess what I am trying to say is, don't get your hopes up." Penguin looked as though he had just been slapped in the face. He glared at Ed furiously who's face fell almost comically as he tried desperately to rectify his mistake. "I didn't mean to upset you" he babbled anxiously "It's just that you gave me such great advice with Kristen. She wasn't interested and I was wasting my time. It's just that I can see that whatever it is between you and Jim Gordon is drastically one sided and I didn't want you to go out of your way for someone who doesn't want to know, just  like I used to. I was just trying to return the favour. I'm sorry if I over stepped but I assure you I had nothing but good intentions."

Penguin nodded. As much as he hated to admit it, Nygma had a point. Even he had noticed the one sided nature of his and Jim's friendship, how Gordon only wanted to know him when he needed his help. Perhaps he needed to re-evaluate things. "Your concern is appreciated my friend" he said carefully "but I can look after myself." "Duly noted" Ed replied instantly. Oswald glanced at him sideways. He had no idea why he tolerated this man. Edward was outspoken, irritating and quite possibly a stalker. Yet for some reason he had become attached to him in some way, he just hoped that he wouldn't live to regret it. "Well good day Mr Nygma" he said with a smile, shaking Ed's hand "I hope to see you this evening."

"Yes. Definitely. Absolutely" 

Well, Ed thought, that certainly went better than he had expected. He was certain he had ruined it on several occasions but for some reason Penguin had seen fit to let him slide. He breathed a sigh of relief, running his fingers through his hair before glancing around curiously, wandering casually whether anyone had thought it strange that he and Penguin were on speaking terms. However, life at the GCPD continued unchanged, as disregarding of Ed's existence as usual. There was one person who had noticed him though and for a moment Ed dared to hope that his party invitation would be only the beginning.

************************************************************************************************

Edward Nygma stood opposite 'Oswald's' , working up the courage to approach the front door. 

None of his clothes had been suitable so he had gone a quick shopping trip after work for something more appropriate which was why he was now wearing a vibrant green suit which was ill suited for pretty much every situation imaginable. In his own defence it had seemed like a good idea at the time. So had the flowers.

He had been lead to believe that coming to a party without a gift for the host was incredibly bad manners yet the traditional present of alcohol had seemed like a poor choice. Why bring a bottle of wine to a club full of booze? It was silly and pointless. So, with this in mind, he had brought flowers instead but he was sorely wishing he hadn't.

  In all honesty, a part of him just wanted to run home and forget all about the party, forget that he had even received Penguin's invitation. Only one thing stopped him, the absence of Jim Gordon. He'd overheard Jim talking with Harvey and it was clear that the detective had no intention of attending the party. Ed couldn't stand Penguin up now, no matter how nervous he was. To spend opening night alone because no one had accepted their invitation was a humiliation that Edward couldn't possibly put Oswald through. It wouldn't be right. 

So, squaring his shoulders, Ed practically launched himself across the road and handed his invitation to the bouncer on the door before he could change his mind. Upon entering the club his eyes immediately landed on the blue neon umbrella sign on the wall and he couldn't help but smile. He liked how Oswald had managed to take a symbol of his time spent working for Fish into something that was his own. A sign of defiance almost, making it clear that he intended to be ruled by no one and planned to stop at nothing until he reached the top. 

"Ed!"

Oswald walked over to him, grinning broadly. "I'm glad you could make it" he said as he shook Edward's hands before taking a step back to take in the suit that Ed was wearing. Oswald wasn't sure if he'd call the emerald two piece ghastly or splendid, probably the former. Never the less, Ed somehow managed to pull it off. "Thank you for inviting me" Ed smiled back nervously, not all together sure he belonged there. It was at this point that Oswald noticed the bouquet that Ed was trying desperately to hide behind his back. "What are those?" Penguin asked curiously. Blushing scarlet, Edward held out the bunch of flowers with shaking hands.

  "I have always heard that arriving at a party without a gift for the host is the height of rudeness. Alcohol didn't seem appropriate considering the circumstances so I went with these instead. In retrospect, these are probably no better."

Ed made to hide the bouquet behind his back once more but Oswald practically snatched them out of his grasp. A bunch of flowers for opening night was a slightly odd gesture to be sure but one that Oswald found surprisingly touching, even if the colours were not to his taste. Ed blinked at him in surprise for a moment before beaming delightedly. "The green ones are called Bells of Ireland and they represent good luck" Ed gabbled excitedly, spurred on by Penguin's acceptance of the gift "as does the white heather. The yellow roses on the other hand, represent friendship. I picked them in the hope that we may see more of each other in the future, if you are agreeable that is. I probably shouldn't have made such an assumption so early on in our acquaintance, forgive me." Oswald waved the apology aside as he stared at him in quiet amazement.

"So, you just gave me a bunch of flowers that literally says 'Good luck my friend'?" 

Edward nodded sheepishly. "I thought that on opening night you could do with some extra luck just in case. It's called Floriography, the Victorian language of flowers" he replied. Penguin couldn't help but smile. Was this man for real? Either way, Oswald couldn't deny that his shy and awkward charm seemed to be working. "So what do those ones mean?" Oswald asked casually, pointing to a couple of yellow blooms hidden among the roses. Ed's breath caught in his throat as he stared at the bouquet in horror.  Acacia, secret love! It seemed that when he had placed his emergency last minute at the florist he had gotten a bit carried away and as a result this particular arrangement had ended up saying a lot more than he had intended. One thing was for sure, he couldn't let Oswald know about the foolish crush that he had on him. He was lucky enough to have been give a chance to befriend the man he held such sentiments for which was more than he could ever have expected or deserved, to throw that away for feelings that couldn't possibly returned would be insane.

"I just thought it could use some more yellow" Ed lied hurriedly, smoothing his hair back self consciously, all too aware how feeble his excuse had sounded. Oswald raised an eyebrow sceptically but elected not to draw attention to the fact that he could tell that Edward wasn't being totally honest with him. He could always do some research himself if needs be but he doubted he'd bother, if Ed was hiding something it would be much easier to figure it out by observing the man himself than by looking up flowers. Besides, it was probably something all together too innocent to worry about anyway. 

"Well as I said, I'm so glad you could make it" Oswald repeated, filling the role of gracious host effortlessly "Please have a drink and take a seat if you wish. I hope you have a nice time, don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything. "Roger dodger" Ed replied cheerfully as Penguin went to deal with some of his other guests.

 

 

The next few hours were lonely and mostly uneventful. Ed got himself a drink, per Oswald's suggestion, and found himself a quiet booth as the band on stage butchered No more heroes by The Stranglers. The rest of the night passed by in a similar fashion as he watched various nightclub goers in attendance enjoying throwing themselves around to a selection of ruined punk classics. Don Maroni arrived halfway through the evening to provide entertainment in true mafia style, smiling jovially whilst threatening Penguin's life. Thankfully he didn't stay long.

Eventually, after many boring hours had passed, closing time had arrived and Ed to leave. He had felt it would be both rude and cruel to leave any sooner. "No, do stay" Oswald insisted when Ed attempted to announce his departure before rushing off to shoo his lingering patrons out the door. Edward hung back obediently, already feeling much more at home as he wandered absentmindedly through the now almost deserted club. The band had left an hour ago so the only staff around were the exhausted looking bartenders who were flitting from table to table in a search for abandoned drinking glasses.

"Well that was a complete disaster" Oswald grumbled, dropping the helpful host façade as soon as the door closed on the other guessed. He sighed heavily as he reached behind the bar and pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses. "My condolences" Ed replied sympathetically " I can tell that tonight's success meant a lot to you." Oswald smiled gratefully at the man who was now treading the empty stage, watching as Ed absentmindedly stroked the until now unused piano as though he wished to play it.

"You were right about Jim Gordon" Penguin continued "It seems I was wasting my time with him. I'll have to consider charging him for favours in the future if he carries on like this." He gestured wordlessly for Ed to make himself at home by the piano as he made his way up onto the stage to join him. "For someone in your position, giving a cop, even a cop like Jim Gordon, unlimited favours is bound to end badly" Ed chimed in and Oswald couldn't help but be happily surprised at how comfortable Edward seemed to be with discussing criminal politics. "Well you've worked with him for a while no doubt, I expect you know him better than I do" Oswald said casually as he poured himself as glass of wine, leaning against the side of the piano as Ed softly manipulated the keys into a rendition of Purple Rain. 

"Yes" Ed replied instantly "he has a strong moral compass which he refuses to compromise and is often unappreciative of any help he receives. Not a ideal companion for you I think." Penguin shook his head, staring at Ed as though seeing him in completely different light. "I'm starting to think the same thing" he muttered. There was a comfortable silence, filled only with music, before Oswald handed Ed a glass of wine. "A toast" he said with a warm smile "to time spent with friends." "Time spent with friends" Ed echoed, grinning broadly.

 

 

"Well, business wise opening night was a complete failure" Oswald admitted a while later as he looked up for the night "but I think tonight itself has been a resounding success." He smiled at Ed who instantly began to question whether Oswald was indeed flirting with him or whether he was imagining it. He decided on the latter. "Yes, I hade a wonderful time" he replied and he had, eventually. "Well my friend" Oswald said shaking Edward's hand in a gesture of farewell "we must do it again some time." He paused for a moment then added "Although perhaps a different venue would be best." He had the feeling that getting 'Oswald's' up to its full potential would take longer than he had first suspected. 

Ed watched as Penguin looked critically over the front of his club and he felt his heart race. Did Oswald actually mean it, were they friends? Did Oswald really want to see him again? Edward fiddled with his shirt cuffs anxiously as he debated what to do next. It could have been a suggestion made out of simple politeness with no real meaning behind it. Like, when he had first started working at the GCPD, the people who had said 'We should get coffee sometime' but had never followed it through. Oswald didn't seem like the sort of person to bother with such 'niceties' with people he no interest in however. Perhaps he really had been being sincere. Don't be stupid, Ed told himself forcefully, a man like Penguin could never be interested in you, as friend or anything else.

Oswald frowned in concern, obviously picking up on Ed's uneasiness. "Ed? Is everything alright?" he asked curiously " If I over stepped a line then I apol..." "Dinner. Wednesday. My place" Ed blurted out suddenly. Oswald blinked at him, taken aback. Edward took a deep steadying breath before trying again. Confidence, he reminded himself. "I was wondering" he began slowly "if, to thank you for your kind invitation and hospitality, you would allow me to treat to you to dinner at my place on Wednesday?" There was a heart stopping pause as Ed braced himself for rejection, even outrage. The reply he actually received however, was the last one he had been expecting. "I'd love to have dinner with you" Oswald positively beamed "It's a date."


	4. Neon lights, frilly lamps and ceramic pineapples.

"You are leaving?"

Oswald made a huffing noise as he tweaked his fringe, debating on whether he needed to apply more gel. "Yes but don't worry mother" he replied "I'm just having dinner with a friend." Gertrud Kapelput scoffed. "It's some demon woman" she insisted darkly "she has you in her clutches." Oswald sighed, refraining from rolling his eyes with great difficulty. "How many times do I have to tell you mother? There is no demon woman" he groaned "I'm having dinner with that forensics guy who came to my party the other day." Gertrud's face lit up instantly at these words. "The one who gave you such beautiful flowers?" she cried happily "Such a nice boy, so good to my Oswald." 

Oswald couldn't help but smile slightly at that as he finished applying his eyeliner. He didn't wear it very often, the sorts of people he tended to work alongside weren't usually the most open minded and he found it hard enough to be taken seriously by them as it was. This however, was not business and he doubted Ed would be overly concerned about his fashion choices, the man wore an emerald green suit for gods sake.

"Now I've got to go or I'll be late" Penguin said as he picked up his coat. His mother pointed at her cheek expectantly and he obediently pressed a kiss to her cheek, stopping on his way towards the door. "My little Kapelput" she murmured fondly, cupping his face briefly in her hands before patting him gently on the shoulder and sending him on his way.

********************************************************************************************

Ed glanced at his cuckoo clock anxiously. The flat had been given its usual thorough clean and tidy, the food had been cooked and prepared to perfection and he'd sent a good two hours choosing his outfit for the night. Everything was going exactly to plan, completely on schedule. So why was he worrying so much? He sighed and ran his fingers absentmindedly through his hair before immediately running to the bathroom to restyle it. God, he was hopeless. Why someone like Penguin had agreed to have dinner with him was a mystery. 

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

Ed felt his heart sink as he watched the little wooden bird retreat into its mechanical hideaway. Penguin wasn't coming, he was sure of it. He had been a fool to ever think otherwise, he had gotten hopes up for nothing. Resigning himself to the disappointment of eating alone Edward began to put away the extra plate and cutlery that he had set out for his guest, trying to ignore how miserable he felt. Then all of a sudden he heard a knock at the door.

Opening it he found Oswald Cobblepot on his doorstep, hair styled to perfection and wearing a layer of blurred eyeliner that brought out the piercing intensity of his eyes. "I thought you weren't coming" Ed stammered, relief washing over him. Oswald's smile mixed with a look of slight confusion as he checked his watch. "I'm only two minutes late" he pointed out, finding Ed's reaction both adorable but slightly concerning. Had Edward really expected him to stand him up? Did he really think so little of him? Then it occurred to him. Perhaps it wasn't so much a lack of faith in him but rather that Ed failed to see why Oswald could possibly want to spend time with him. Oswald decided to file this thought away for further consideration. "Of course" Ed laughed anxiously "how silly of me. Do come in."

As Ed stepped aside to allow him entry Oswald to glance over his hosts attire. The eye catching emerald green from the other night had been discarded in favour of a far less ostentatious green three piece, the pattern and superb fit of which made Edward's legs look a mile long. It was a look Oswald approved of whole heartedly. Sure, it could be seen as a bit much for dinner at home but Oswald could hardly talk. It seemed neither of them were naturally casual dressers.

Noticing that Ed had caught him staring Oswald handed over the bunch of flowers he had been concealing behind his back, trying and failing to hide his embarrassment. "I'm afraid I'm a complete novice as far as talking via flowers is concerned so red roses will have to do" he said with a shy smile. Ed's eyes lit up as he accepted the bouquet with trembling hands. He never would have expected Oswald to bring him flowers so it was a wonderful surprise. "Thank you. They are perfect" Ed assured him "I'll just go and put them in some water. Please, make yourself at home." He then dashed off to the kitchen, nearly colliding with the dinning table on the way, to find a place to put his treasured gift.

Taking Ed at his word Oswald wandered casually around Edward's tiny apartment, surveying his surroundings with thinly veiled interest. A giant neon sign outside the window bathed the room in bright green light which was one of the few things to detract from the apartments natural short comings. The walls were bare brick and the sliding metal door and iron rafters had an industrial feel that the patchwork quilt on the bed couldn't overcome in terms of comfort. It was a sparsely filled space overall, neat and tidy, but despite that it was not devoid of personality. Everywhere Oswald looked he saw strange objects, from the ceramic pineapple sat on the kitchen to the old arcade game stashed away in a corner, that made the little apartment feel like a home. It was an odd place to be sure but it suited Ed perfectly.

"Would you care to take a seat?" Ed asked as he pulled out a chair at the kitchen table, his tone rather formal but his smile warm and inviting. Oswald graciously accepted the offered perch and soon they were setting down of grilled salmon with a spice mustard infused mash. There was an awkwardness in the air however, and the first few minutes of the meal were spent in silence after which Ed began to compulsively straighten and rearrange the tableware anxiously. Oswald did his best to ignore it, he wasn't feeling all too confident himself, but after Edward leant across the table to straighten his plate for the forth time whilst he was mid mouthful he decided he'd had enough.

"Ed, you're cute but you are driving me insane!" Oswald snapped, slamming his cutlery down in frustration. "I'm sorry" Ed replied automatically, looking crestfallen, before realising what Penguin had just said and blushing scarlet. Oswald seemed equally embarrassed and when he next spoke he seemed to be doing everything within his power to avoid making eye contact with his dinner companion. "Look, we aren't going to get anywhere if we carry on like this" he pointed out forcefully and Ed nodded in agreement. This was getting ridiculous. 

"So, what's it like working at the GCPD? Hellish I should imagine, what with people like Detective Bullock hanging around" Oswald asked after a pause, making a valiant stab conversation. Small talk bored him senseless but if it stopped the relentless fidgeting then he guessed he could try and grin and bare it. He wondered briefly why he was making such an effort. In all honesty the fact that he was here at all was one still found befuddling. Why was this man, who he barely knew, so special to him? 

0Edward smiled sheepishly. "I didn't think dead bodies were considered a good topic for discussion at the dinner table" he replied, finally relaxing a little. Oswald raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "I once slit a mans throat in order to steal his sandwich. I think I can cope" he said jokingly. However, it seemed that Ed saw through the jibe to the truth behind it because his eyes widened in surprise. "A fisherman down by Gotham river?" he asked excitedly. Penguin said nothing but Edward knew enough to understand what that silence meant. "It was you!" he cried happily "I was assigned forensics on that case and I've always been disappointed that I never found out who did. Well that's one more riddle answered." Ed laughed.

"You're not going to turn me in?"

"No, of course not. Why should I?" Ed asked cheerfully. "Because it's the right thing to do" Oswald pointed out "Because you work for the GCPD and were actually a part of the investigation. People would say that it's your duty to hand me over to Gordon immediately." He watched Edward carefully, trying to decipher his facial expressions. He had known from the start that allowing someone like Ed this close was a huge risk, this unfortunate situation would confirm once and for all whether it was a gambit he would end up regretting. "Friends don't sell friends out" Ed replied firmly. Oswald nodded slowly as he processed this information, surprised to find that he actually trusted Ed enough to keep his word. His silent confirmation of Ed's loyalty seemed to clear whatever lingering uneasiness had been hanging over them and when talk resumed it felt as though they had been friends for years.

"Ok, so you know something about me. About time you told me something about you. Don't worry, I wont blackmail you or anything. Friends don't blackmail each other" Oswald chuckled good naturedly. "Alright" Ed grinned. He caused for a moment and Oswald waited patiently. Penguin wasn't all together sure what he expected the excitable yet good mannered forensics investigator to tell him but it certainly wasn't tale that he heard next, that's for sure. 

"Our old M.E, an incompetent fool who couldn't tell the difference between a bullet and a basket ball if his life depended on it, got me suspended from the GCPD a while back because I kept conducting my own autopsies ."

"And?" Penguin prompted, sensing that there was more to this story. Ed leant forwards, his eyes sparkling, and whispered proudly "So I sneaked into work and hid severed arms in his locker!" Oswald clapped a napkin to his mouth quickly as he spat out a mouthful of wine in surprise. "I know right" Ed cried ecstatically "I got my job back, he'll probably ever work again and no one even suspected that I was the one responsible. Kind of neat, right?" Oswald gaped at him in amazement. "You're joking surely" he said, eyeing Nygma suspiciously, yet some how he doubted it. "Nope" Ed replied smugly, popping the p "You said that being underestimated could be a strength so I thought 'How could I use it to my advantage?' Framing someone is easy if people barely notice that you exist, you'll never cross their mind as a suspect." Oswald nodded, blinking rapidly and making o effort to hide the fact that Ed had thoroughly impressed him. "Well my friend, your talents are obviously being wasted there" Oswald replied with a smile "If they need reminding of your usefulness to them then that's their problem." Ed practically glowed at the praise and he blushed once more.

The conversation flowed much smoother after that and they only became more and more at home in each others company as the night wore on. Edward still felt shy or anxious at times but Oswald spurred him on with his own confidence and he contributed to Penguin's reflections on life in their nightmare of a city with much zeal. 

 

 

It was with a heavy heart that, several hours after his arrival, Oswald's ears were rudely assaulted by the insistent noise from Ed's cuckoo clock and he realized that it was time for him to leave. "I'm going to have to go" he groaned as he made to get up from Edward's shabby sofa which looked as though it had been made out whatever random cushions and soft items Ed had had to hand.  Oswald couldn't remember exactly when they had moved from the dinning table to here but they were now sat pressed against each other and he had his legs draped over Edward's lap. It was alarmingly intimate, especially for two people who barely knew each other, but for some reason it just felt right. Ed repressed a disappointed sigh with difficulty. Why did time have to move so fast?

"My mother will no doubt be worrying, assuming I've been kidnapped by some demon hussy" Oswald continued, rolling his eyes "You know how mothers are." He smiled exasperatedly and shrugged. "Not really" Ed admitted as he graciously helped his new friend on with their coat. "You will have to meet my mother" Penguin continued decisively "she'll really like you." Caught by surprise Ed simply nodded. That had to be a good sign surely. Penguin would hardly want him to meet his mother if he hadn't made a good impression, right? "Sure, I would love to meet your mother" Ed replied brightly as he escorted Oswald to the door. 

"Well thank you for coming" he said as he slid open the heavy metal door and Oswald dawdled on the threshold "I hope everything was ok." "It was lovely Ed" Oswald assured him with an amused smile. Edward adjusted his glasses as he grinned back shyly. "Good night then" he said, leaning in automatically for a hug before changing his mind last minute and turning the motion into an overly formal handshake. A hug?! What were you thinking?, he thought to himself. He bit his lip nervously as Penguin returned the handshake with a raised eyebrow that made his expression no easier to read. "Good night Ed" Oswald replied, voice unusually deadpan and Ed felt his heart sink. He had messed things up, he knew it. He always did.

The he swallowed a gasp as he was yanked down by the tie and he felt Oswald's lips touch his. It was chaste and brief, over in a heartbeat, but it was still one of the most wonderful moments of Edward's life. Blinking slowly he gazed at Oswald in amazement and adoration as the smaller man pulled away ever so slightly with a satisfied smirk on his face. "Did you really think I hadn't noticed? I'm not an idiot Ed" he said, his tone both frustrated and affectionate. Ed chuckled quietly. "I never thought other wise" he murmured before leaning down and pressing their lips together once more.

*****************************************************************************************

Ed straightened his tie self consciously and picked a stray thread off his jumper. Breathing deeply he paced around the lab, trying to remain calm. 

"Hey Ed, are you..."

Lee stopped abruptly when she saw the look on his face, he looked as though he was about to throw up. "Ed, are you alright?" she asked, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. Ed tensed up for a second at the touch but eventually allowed himself to relax slightly. He liked Lee. She was nice to him and not only when she wanted something from him either which was rare in Gotham. She wasn't a proper friend, just a kind work colleague but Ed guessed that would have to do. "Nothing is wrong" he assured her but the timid look in his eyes and the shake in his voice said otherwise "It's just that I'm going to some ones house for tea tonight and I'm somewhat nervous as to how it will turn out."

Lee hid her surprise at this news well and simply said" you have a date, that's great!" "Not a date exactly" Ed clarified "I'm meeting his mother." Lee grimaced. Meeting parents was usually hellish affair. "I know how you feel" she told him "but I'm sure it will go fine and even if it doesn't, I'm sure your partner will appreciate the effort you made." She smiled encouragingly and although Ed doubted the truthfulness of her statement he smiled back, grateful all the same. 

Based on his track record when it came to social interactions he had calculated that his chances of messing things up with Penguin's mother were approximately 70%, not a very comforting number. Still, Lee's feigned confidence in his abilities did not go unappreciated. Right now he'd take whatever encouragement he could get. "Well, I'd better go or I'll be late" he sighed, squaring his shoulders. "I'll walk you out" Lee offered kindly.

 

"Nygma, could you help us with something?"

Jim Gordon and Harvey Bullock approached them as they made their way across the main room of the precinct. "I'm sorry gentlemen but I'm finished for the night" Ed informed them politely "but rest assured that I will get right on it as soon as I come in tomorrow." "I thought you always worked late" Jim replied, clearly he did not want to take no as an answer. "Well not tonight" Ed said cheerfully. "He's got a date Jim!" Lee snapped as Gordon opened his mouth yet again to protest. "A date!" Bullock snorted incredulously as Jim tried, and failed, to hide his amazement.

"Stop being mean you two" Lee ordered, glaring at them. "I'm not being mean" Harvey insisted with a laugh "I'm just surprised is all. Really Nygma, a date?" Ed felt his anger rising every second that he looked at Bullock's scornful face. Why was it so difficult for everyone to believe that someone might actually enjoy his company? Ed tried to ignore them, let the teasing roll off his back like usual, but he found he that he couldn't stand staying silent any longer. 

Drawing himself up to his full height he said coldly "Yes Detective Bullock, a date. Although I understand why, considering the state of your love life, you might be unfamiliar with the concept." "Wait, did you... did he just..." Harvey spluttered, looking from Ed to Jim to Lee in confusion and disbelief. Ignoring the two detectives completely Ed gave Lee a polite nod before walking away without another word, leaving his colleagues reeling. They had never seen Ed act lie that before. Their amazement only double when they saw who was waiting for him by the door. "Oh my gosh" Lee gasped quietly as the three of them watched as Ed was greeted warmly by none other than Oswald Cobblepot.

"I see the GCPD have finally begun to notice you" Penguin commented dryly, sending a cold glare in the direction of Harvey Bullock. Even from this distance he had been able to tell that Ed's latest interaction with the police officer had been far from friendly. "Only for the purpose of creating scandal it seems" Ed replied with an exasperated smile. To be quite honest he kind of enjoyed looking at the shocked and, in some cases, horrified faces and knowing that he was part of the cause. Oswald sighed dramatically then offered Edward his arm, smiling affectionately. 

"Shall we?"

 

 

"What if she doesn't like me?" Ed asked anxiously as they made their way up the dirty and cramped staircase that led to the apartment that Oswald shared with his mother. "Nonsense, of course she'll like you" Oswald assured him. This reply didn't exactly fill Edward with confidence but before he could say anything else Oswald had come to a halt outside of a door and proceeded to knock loudly. "I'm home mother and I've brought a friend with me" Oswald said brightly as his mother opened the door. Gertrud kapelput stuck her head round the door suspiciously but her eyes lit up when she caught sight of Ed waiting respectfully on the landing. 

"Come in, come in" she cried enthusiastically, grabbing Ed by the arm and dragging him inside. She steered Edward into the sitting room before positioning him under a rather frilly lamp and examining him it by its light. "So good looking" she cooed, squeezing his cheeks "such pretty eyes." "Mother, please..." Oswald groaned, hiding his face in his hands. "It's a pleasure to meet you Ms Kapelput. Thank you so much for allowing me to visit" Ed spluttered. "He's so polite" she exclaimed, beaming from Ed to Oswald before planting a kiss on each of Ed's cheeks and finally releasing him. "You'll be perfect for my Oswald" she said decisively, patting his shoulder fondly then bustling of to the kitchen to fetch tea.

There was a moments silence as Oswald squeezed himself next to Ed on the tiny flower patterned sofa. "I'm so sorry" he muttered, staring at his shoes in embarrassment. "Don't be, she's really nice" Ed told him with a reassuring smile. Oswald just sighed. "She just gets so in your face" he grumbled "plus she can get really possessive. I was barely allowed to leave the house when I was a kid, she was terrified that something would happen to me and that I'd ever come back." "Quite a sensible attitude really, this is Gotham we are talking about" Ed reasoned "She's just being protective of you, that's all. There's a difference between protective and possessive. She just really cares about you. You have no idea how lucky you are to have a mother who loves you so much." Oswald frowned slightly, picking up on the sadness and slight jealousy in Edward's voice. He had the feeling that now wasn't a good time to ask about it however. "I am very lucky" he said after a pause " and I love her very much. I'd do anything to protect her." "I can tell" Ed said with an affectionate smile. The fact that one of the most notorious criminals in Gotham openly doted on his mother so much was nothing short of endearing.

At that moment Gertrud re-entered the room. She was carrying a tray laden with tea, cakes and what Oswald recognised, with horror, as a leather bound photo album. "Mother, no!" he protested but to no avail. Ed couldn't help but laugh as Oswald folded his arms, pouting, as his mother began to show Ed the countless photos she had taken and collected of her 'little Kapelput.'


	5. Watermelons lead to disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I'm glad some of you have been enjoying this fic so far. Unfortunately the 'angsty murder dragon' will be rearing its ugly head in this chapter. I swear that when I started this story I intended for it to be simply G rated cute fluff! *Sigh* Oh well. :)  
> Anyway, real reason for this note is just to let you know that hallucination Ed's dialogue (in this and all subsequent chapters) will be in BOLD font, just so that you know it is him. I just thought I'd give you a heads up.

"Ed, what's that?"

"It's watermelon, detective. Would you like some?"

"No thanks" Jim replied slowly, watching Ed's smile fade slightly. "Okie dokie" Ed replied then turned to leave. "Hey Ed" Jim called "Could you go dig up the forensics files for these murders? If we are going to catch this 'Ogre' then we are going to need all the information we can get our hands on." "I'm on the case" Ed assured him, taking the note that Gordon held out to him. Once again Edward made to leave only to bump into Harvey Bullock. "Hey you nearly spilled my coffee!" Bullock grumbled, holding a hand protectively around his coffee cup. "I apologise" Ed replied politely. "Hey, we saw your boyfriend a few weeks ago, back when Jim here was trying to take down Loeb" Harvey continued with a smirk "He was over powered by an old lady and get this, he was the one holding the gun. I gotta tell ya' Nygma, you sure can pick them."

Ed swallowed angrily, trying to keep his temper in check. This wasn't the first comment of this nature that Bullock had made in recent weeks and quite frankly he was sick of it. "Oswald is a smart, kind and attentive man who respects and appreciates me. That's more than enough for me. And in regards to the assistance he gave you on that case, I'm sure that no matter how he handled the situation you would find fault in it so we would still be having the exact same conversation we are having now. That being the case might I suggest that you stay out of my personal life and apply your detective skills to more important matters. Like catching the Ogre for example" Ed replied curtly, his tone as polite as ever but his eyes were fierce and cold. Harvey opened his mouth to retort but at that exact moment Lee appeared as if from out of nowhere.

"Ed, just the guy I was looking for. Could you come and help me with something?" she asked, grasping Edward firmly by the shoulders and steering him away before he could actually reply. As soon as they were out of earshot of Gordon and Bullock he released him with a pitying sigh. "I'm sorry about Harvey" she said glumly "He can be a real asshole." "It's fine " Ed assured her. It wasn't fine at all but he knew that was what he was expected to say although he'd never seen the point of it. Why say things are fine when they are not? It achieved nothing.

"Melon?" he asked as he held some out to her, hoping to change the subject. Lee, though by far the most supportive and accepting when it came to the people at the GCPD, still had her doubts when it came to his relationship with Oswald. He could see why they were concerned, what with Penguin being one of the cities most well known criminals, but the novelty of the attention that concern had brought his way had worn off and now he just wanted to be left alone. In retrospect he guessed he should be grateful, sure people like Bullock took every opportunity to make snide comments but apart from a cautionary chat with Captain Essen his personal life had done little to get in the way of his work. That didn't mean he wanted to discuss it with Lee though. "Sure, thank you" said Lee with a smile as she accepted a chunk. Then she frowned in confusion.

"Why do you have melon anyway?"

"I was doing an experiment to clear up some facts for a stabbing case I'm working on" he explained "Don't worry, I disinfected the lab thoroughly before and after." "How reassuring" Lee grimaced, reclining Ed's offer of a second helping as she willed herself not to puke. She had dissected bodies in that lab! "Well, I had better go and chase up these files" Ed said after an awkward pause. "Good idea" Lee replied "and Ed, if you see Kristen could you tell her that I'm always free to talk if she needs me. It's just that she was looking a bit down earlier and I just want her to know that I'm there if she needs me." "I'll be sure to give her the message" Ed promised.

"So you forgive me?"

Kristen, who was sandwiched between Officer Dougherty and a filing cabinet, nodded with a smile that didn't quite hide the fear in her eyes. "I'll see you tonight" Dougherty grinned before turning to towards the door and catching sight of Nygma for the first time. "How's it hanging Riddle-man?" he asked cheerfully, snatching a piece of watermelon from Ed's hands as he made his way out the door. "Umm... It's hanging fine" Ed stammered quietly in response but Dougherty neither heard nor cared. 

Now that they were alone Ed turned to stare at Miss Kringle with growing concern. The feelings he had once had for her were no more but seeing a woman who was usually so confident shrinking away from her boyfriend like that troubled him all the same.  "What can I do for you Mr Nygma?" she sighed, looking exhausted. "Detective Gordon asked me to go through the forensic evidence of these old murders" he replied as he handed over the list "Also, Dr Thompkins asked me to let you know that she is always free if you want to talk. She thinks you look upset. Are you upset?" "That was nice of her" Kristen muttered as she began pulling open various draws in search of files, blatantly ignoring Ed's question. It was at that moment Edward spotted the angry mark on her arm.

"Are those bruises?"

Kristen pulled down the sleeve of jumper self consciously but it was too late. "Did Officer Dougherty do that to you?" Ed asked, horrified. "He was upset" Miss Kringle replied hurriedly "and he didn't mean to. I said some things I shouldn't have." "No" Ed cried in dismay "Miss Kringle, this is not right. He can't just..." "Mr Nygma" Kristen replied forcefully "it's none of your concern. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find those files that Detective Gordon asked for. You can come and collect them later."

Ed left the room in a daze, stopping as soon as he reached the hallway in order to process the situation. He tried to remain calm, determined not to do anything rash, but he could feel his blood boiling. The fact that Officer Dougherty was abusing Kristen made him feel physically sick. The fact that someone would take the love and trust that anther had placed in them and throw it aside like that was despicable. Ed knew that technically it was none of his business but quite frankly he didn't care. You did not hurt people like that! It wasn't right. 

Anger coursing through his veins Ed dumped the left over watermelon carelessly on the floor and stormed into the precinct, making a beeline for Dougherty who was talking and laughing with a group of his friends. "Officer Dougherty, a word" Ed snapped. Dougherty looked surprised but signalled for his friends to give them some privacy. 

"I can start a war or end one. I can give you the strength of heroes or leave you powerless. I might be snared with a glance but no force can compel me to stay. What am I?"

Officer Dougherty laughed with confusion before admitting "You got me." "Love" Ed replied harshly "Miss Kringle has given hers to you and in return you hurt her. I've seen the bruises." "And?" Dougherty said with a casual shrug, not understanding the gravity of the situation. "And you cannot do that!" Ed yelled "The next time you do that I'll..." "Hey, calm down" Dougherty interrupted with a smirk "I don't expect I guy like you to understand but girls like Kringle need a firm hand, that's all." "I wont let you hurt her" Ed snarled, glaring furiously. Dougherty laughed once more as he pushed past Edward. "Oh yeah" he taunted "What are you going to do?" There was a pause whilst Ed remained speechless with rage. "That's what I thought" Dougherty grinned as he walked away "Later Riddle-man."

*******************************************************************************************

Ed peeked out of the window of his car, staring across the street at the front of Kristen Kringle's house. He'd looked up her address in the GCPD staff records and had decided to wait for Dougherty to arrive so that he could force him to leave town. Ed didn't know exactly how he was going to manage that but he knew he had to do something. He couldn't stand by and do nothing whilst someone he knew, however distantly, was treated like that. He wouldn't be able to live with himself. So here he was, sitting in the dark and feeling very much like a stalker, wishing that he had formulated a better plan. Thinking things over now he probably should have asked Oswald for help, he was more experienced in this sort of thing. It was as Ed got his phone out of his pocket to put thing thought into motion that he caught sight of Dougherty. It was now or never.

"Stop right there buster!" he bellowed as he got out of his car. "Riddle-man? What the hell are you doing creeping around here?" Dougherty called back, looking confused to say the least. "You need to leave Miss Kringle alone" Ed told him sternly. "What?" the cop replied stupidly as he crossed the road to join him. "I'm not going to let you hurt her ever again" Ed told him as he fixed him with a hard stare "I think you need to leave Gotham, tonight." Intimidation really wasn't his area but Edward felt confident that he had gotten his point across. Judging by the smug smirk on Dougherty's face however, that didn't seem to be the case. "Ah, I see what's going on" the cop said patronizingly "you've got a thing for my girl." "Officer Dougherty, that's a lie and you know it" Ed retorted hotly "Don't insult either of us further by pretending otherwise. This is about you being an abusive monster!"

Wham!

Edward doubled over in pain as the cops fist connected with his stomach. The smile on Dougherty's face had been replaced by a look of pure rage as he pulled his fist back for a blow he would never land. His eyes widened in surprise and pain as the blade of Ed's knife was plunged into his side. As Ed felt the warm blood oozing from the wound he knew he should stop but it was as though there was someone else in control of his body as he watched himself stab Dougherty savagely and repeatedly. "Riddle-man..." Dougherty croaked weakly before he slumped to the floor, dead. "Oh dear" Ed breathed as he stared at the blood stained knife in his hands "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear." Voice breaking he dissolved into shaky and hysterical laughter.

It wasn't until a car alarm went off in the next street that Edward finally came back to his senses enough to realise that he had to move. The last thing he wanted was to have to explain to a passer by why he was lurking outside Miss Kringle's house with a dead cop at his feet. Hastily, but not without considerable difficulty, Ed hoisted Dougherty into the boot of his car and sped off before anyone spotted him.

***********************************************************************************************

"Ok. Ok. So what are we going to do with you" Ed asked Dougherty, who remained unhelpfully but predictably silent. Ed groaned as he continued to pace up and down his flat, Dougherty's dead body lying at his feet. "Well the answer is simple" Ed told himself "I just hand myself in. It was in self defence anyway so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. They won't convict me if it was in self defence so everything will be fine." He picked up his phone, planning to do just that, but a nagging doubt stopped him. "Wait a minute" he muttered thoughtfully "I can't actually prove anything. I doubt the fact that I accosted him whilst lurking outside Miss Kringle's house in the dead of night will look good, even if I was just trying to protect her. Turning myself in is a terrible idea, it will never work." 

He resumed his pacing, phone still in hand, as he tried to figure out his next move. "You really are being very uncooperative" Ed told Dougherty frankly, sighing exasperatedly. Dougherty didn't seem to care but then that was one of the advantages of being dead, not caring. Then suddenly Ed realised what an idiot he was. Oswald. He would no exactly what to do, dealing with murder victims was an average days work for him. Quickly Ed dialled Oswald's number, feeling reassured that he would soon hear his boyfriends voice and that he would be able to make everything ok. However, like everything else that had happened to Ed today, things didn't go as he expected.

 

 

Penguin grunted as he dragged the blood splattered body of Maroni's delivery man along the pavement. If people were going to insist on asking to be murdered the least they could do would be to make sure they weren't so damn heavy. 

Ring Ring!

Oswald groaned as his ringtone continued to blare from the inside of his jacket pocket. This was the last thing he needed. Plonking his bothersome companion behind a nearby skip for a moment Oswald grudgingly reached for his phone, the only people with his mobile number were people who's calls were too important to ignore. 

"Hello?" he said, slightly out of breath. "Oswald!" Ed cried in a happy ad relieved voice before picking up on Penguin's own tone. "Is everything alright Oswald?" he asked, momentarily distracted from his own problems. "Maroni!" Oswald burst out furiously "That puffed up, sorry excuse for a mob boss came to my club and had the audacity to smooth talk my mother!" Edward winced sympathetically despite the panic that was quickly building up inside him. Messing with Oswald's mother was the worst mistake anyone could make. "That's ridiculous, he must have a death wish" he replied considerately before attempting to change the subject "Listen Oswald, I can tell you're busy but..."

"He got her to trust him then he told her all sorts of horrible stories about how I'm a murdering psychopath" Oswald continued, obviously too upset right now to notice Ed's attempts to get his attention "He made her cry!" Oswald took a deep shuddering breath and swallowed hard, willing himself to stay in control of his emotions. The way his mother had looked at him, the pain and sadness in her eyes, had broken his heart. "Well no one does that to my mother and lives" he growled angrily "I tell you Ed, Maroni will pay for this! Tomorrow the war will start, his world will come crashing down on top of him and he will die knowing that I was the cause of his suffering."

When he next spoke Oswald's voice was softer and Edward detected a note of deep concern as he added "I'm not sure how long the war will last, hopefully it will be over quickly but we might not be that lucky. I need you to promise me that you'll stay out of it. Don't try to find me or contact me until it's all over because I can't risk you getting hurt. I would never forgive myself if I lost you. Promise me Ed, promise you'll stay safe." Edward sighed. Penguin had enough to worry about, he couldn't bring himself to add his own problems as well. He'd have to deal with Dougherty on his own. Right now Oswald need to know that he'd be safe and the fact that Oswald cared so much about him meant more to him than Ed could ever explain. "You have my word" he replied brightly "No playing on the battlefield. Scouts honour."

Despite the circumstances Oswald couldn't help but laugh at that. It was in that moment, in a back alley next to a corpse, that Oswald realised. He was in love with Edward Nygma, truly in love with him. He opened his mouth to tell Ed so but the sound of police siren in the distance brought his attention back to his current predicament. "I'm sorry, I've got to go" he muttered hurriedly before reluctantly ending the call and stuffing his phone back in his pocket. He had to dump this body and get home before he was caught or worse, his mother started to worry.

 

 

"Well, I guess it's just the two of us after all" Ed informed Dougherty miserably as he tossed his phone onto the sofa. He put his hands on his hips and groaned in frustration. What to do? What to do? 

**"For gods sake, it's obvious!"**

Ed practically jumped out of his skin as he span round in terror. "You?!" he gasped.

**"You work in forensics, you know how hard it is to find a murderer without the physical evidence that the body provides. The answer, therefor, is simple. Just get rid of the body. No body, no crime."**

The vision of himself, identical apart from the lack of glasses, grinned at him fiendishly. Ed clapped his hands over his ears and screwed his eyes shut, willing the image to disappear. You're tired, he told himself, and you've had a very stressful day. That's all it is, lack of sleep ad an overactive imagination, he insisted. Deep down he knew it wasn't that simple but he couldn't face that right now. After what felt like hours, but was actually only a few minutes, Ed cautiously opened his eyes to find that his hallucination had been considerate enough to disappear. For now at least. He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair distractedly.

No body, no crime. You know, Ed thought, that wasn't actually a bad idea.


	6. Corpses make lousy improvisation partners.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, is anyone still here? *Crickets.* Anyway, for those of you who are here I have two announcements.  
> Number 1: I am hoping to write a sequel! :) It will start where this one leaves off and will be the same sort of formula as this one. Altered canon events/timelines and fluff just for the fun of it. So if you are interested keep a look out and hopefully (fingers crossed) there will be a sequel. (I have ideas for it. I've just got to write it, that's the tricky bit. Wish me luck.)  
> Announcement number 2, which is important to this story: Now, I'm not sure what the time scale is in the actual series but for the purposes of this story all the events in this chapter and the next all happen on the same day which is the day after Dougherty's death. Just thought I'd let you know. :)

Making his way across the precinct to the lab with Dougherty's mutilated body was one of the most nerve-wracking things he'd ever done. Ed had expected at least one person to ask what he was doing with two large suitcases but no one even noticed him which for once he was thankful for.

As it was, he managed to make it to the, mercifully empty, lab without incident. Shutting the door firmly behind him Edward opened the suitcases to reveal the remains of Kristen Kringle's late boyfriend. "No body, no crime" Ed reminded himself before going to put on his 'lab rubbers.' If he was going to do this then he was going to do it properly. Once suitably attired he transferred the contents of the cases into the sink before reaching for his breathing mask and an industrial bottle of acid.

"Mr Nygma?"

  Ed started violently at the sound of Miss Kringle's voice. What was she doing here? "Mrs Kringle?" he called back incredulously. "Would you open the door, please?" Kristen asked. Edward stared in horror at the body parts in the sink than at the bottle of acid in his hands.  "One sec" he called back, rushing around to try and hide all evidence of wrong doing. The body wasn't a problem as such, not as long as it's identity remained hidden, bodies could be found in the lab on any given day of the week. Suitcases and acid on the other hand were not so common and didn't leave a good impression to say the least. Having satisfied himself that he had done the best he could do he opened the door cautiously.

"I need the Hendricks case files."

"Ah yes" Ed beamed back "Hendricks. Wait right there." He dashed off in search for the desired file, murmuring the name "Hendricks" repeatedly under his breath as he looked. He didn't notice that Kristen had followed him into the room until he heard a gasp from behind him. "Ahh. Oh my goodness" she cried as she stared into the sink in dismay. Ed rushed to block the body from view before she saw too much, handing her the file that had been the original purpose of her visit in an attempt to distract. "What happened to him?" Kristen asked in a hushed voice. "Um, Axe" Ed replied automatically before immediately correcting himself "accidental death. At a sheet metal factory, industrial saw." He made a slicing motion with his hand and made a "Brzzz!" noise. "Poor man" Kristen breathed, shaking her head sadly.

"I don't know how you do this job" she confessed "death all around you." Ed laughed, little did she know just how much death lingered around him. "Yes, one must have a sense of humour" he said hurriedly in response to her questioning gaze. She nodded then turned to leave then seemed to change her mind. "Mr Nygma, you haven't by any chance seen Tom...Officer Dougherty have you?" she asked suddenly "We were supposed o have dinner last night and he didn't show. No surprises there, but I haven't seen him at all today." "Me neither" Ed assured her, shrugging. There was an awkward silence. "Excuse me but I need to get back to work" Ed snapped suddenly, the stress of the situation getting the better of him "now." "Oh, ok" Kristen stammered, looking both offended and slightly hurt. Edward shooed her out and closed the behind her then leant his back against it wearily. "Oh dear" he sighed.

**"That was close."**

"Leave me alone" Ed hissed at his double threateningly but it did no good. **"I'm just saying"** the vision replied nastily **"we're going to have to be more careful if we don't want to** **get caught. She's going to keep digging, we'll have to keep an eye on her just in case."** "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" Ed asked, horrified. His hallucination merely shrugged playfully.

******************************************************************************************

"Where might I find Carmine Falcone?"

The nurse pointed down a corridor before bustling off. Maroni and his men would be arriving any minute and the last thing she wanted was to be caught in the crossfire. Penguin marched purposefully towards Carmine's room, a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a heavily armed Butch at his side. The moment he had been waiting for had finally arrived.

"Good morning, good morning" he chirped happily as he entered. "Oh Penguin, thank god" Falcone sighed, looking relieved "Get me out of here. Maroni's men will be here any minute." "Yes, I imagine so" Oswald chuckled "mustn't stay long. But I knew I'd regret it if I didn't say goodbye to you in person." He took a step closer and placed the bunch of flowers on top of Falcone's chest. "It was me old friend" Penguin added "I did this to you. I started the war, from the day I met you I was planning your end." He rummaged around in a near by draw, gazing round their dingy surroundings as he did so, and found a scalpel. 

"I'm sorry it has to be in this squalid little corner but... c'est la vie."

"Why?" Falcone asked, genuinely confused. "Nothing personal I assure you, sir" Oswald said and his voice cracked slightly as he continued "You have been a wise mentor and a good friend. But business must come first. I'm gonna take your place, old man. I'm going to be the king of Gotham!" Oswald laughed shakily whilst Falcone fixed him with a cold stare. Despite everything Oswald couldn't help but feel a tiny hint of regret about Falcone's death now that the moment had arrived. Falcone was an intelligent and, by mafia standards, fair man who deserved respect. It was a shame really that fate had set them up as rivals, Oswald didn't really want the man to die. Still, it had to be done. "You?" Falcone retorted "never. You are going to burn in hell." "You know I do worry about that" Oswald admitted as placed the tip of the scalpel blade against Falcone's neck "But you first old friend, you first."

"Nobody move!"

It took all Oswald's self control to stay his hand, to prevent himself from making the fatal incision. "Walk away" he barked, turning to glare at Detective Gordon furiously. "Shut up" Jim snapped, his gun still pointing at Butch's head "You're both under arrest for attempted murder."

He herded Oswald and Butch over to the radiator and cuffed them to it before attempting to strike up a deal with Falcone, obviously not caring that the old man was finished. Penguin tried to get him to come over to the winning side of course, his side, but Jim remained as stubborn as ever. The situation only got worse when he untied Falcone. "Don't kill them " Detective Gordon said to Falcone half heartedly before he disappeared to make the worlds most ill timed phone call. "This a fine mess you've got us into boss" Butch grumbled. "Shut up Butch" Oswald hissed. Falcone chuckled and despite the fact that he had retrieved his lucky knife from inside his sock he made no move on them, he simply waited patiently until Gordon returned.

This gave Oswald some much needed time to think. He and Butch wouldn't stand a chance against Maroni's men, especially not in the very vulnerable position they were in at present. They had no natural allies, the downside of playing the role of a double-crosser, therefor their only option was to manipulate someone into helping them and Jim Gordon was the perfect person. All Penguin needed to do was find the right leverage.

  "Can you walk?" Jim asked as soon as he re-entered the room. "If I have to" Falcone replied. "Let's get you out" Jim said "we can take you to your safe house." "My friend, you are making a terrible mistake" Oswald cried but he was ignored. "I'm doing this for the city, not for you. You're the least worst option. If I didn't think you could take back control, I'd let you die. Just so we're clear" Jim told Falcone seriously.

"We're clear."

"You can't leave me here, Maroni's men will kill me" Oswald pleaded as Jim turned to leave once more, hoping to appeal to his better nature like he had done on the river. "Possible" Jim replied disinterestedly. Fine, if that's how he wanted to play. "No. No, you arrested us" Penguin insisted "We are in your custody. You owe me a favour, you owe me!" 

Defeated and angry Gordon grudgingly released them. The next few moments were a blur of gunfire and panic. At some point, Oswald wasn't sure when, Gordon disappeared to tackle some of Maroni's men and returned later with a confused Harvey Bullock in tow. Then the next thing they knew they were hurtling down the road in a stolen ambulance heading for god knows where. One thing Oswald knew for sure though, today was not going to plan. Little did he know that it was only going to get worse.

***************************************************************************************************

"Alas Officer Dougherty, she's going to wonder where you went."

Ed stared at the skull in his hands, contemplating how best to handle the situation. "Perhaps a letter?" he pondered out loud, looking to Dougherty to see what he thought. The skull remained motionless and silent, just as a skull should be. Ed sighed. He wished Oswald was here to give him advice, or just here. Although Oswald was no doubt safe and had everything under control Edward couldn't help but worry about him. He hated the thought that the only person he had in the world was out there, alone, in the middle of a vicious gang war. If it wasn't for his current predicament he would have broken his promise to Penguin and gone to join him by now. The way things were at the moment however, he had other pressing matters to attend to.

"Mr Nygma."

Ed jumped in alarm, almost dropping Dougherty's skull as he turned to gape in horror at Miss Kringle. What was she doing here? "Y-yes" he stuttered in barely more than a whisper, his face white. Kristen looked at him with a mixture of suspicion and concern. Ed was certainly acting much weirder than usual, she just couldn't figure out why. "Captain Essen asked me to give you a message" she explained "What with the war that's going on between Falcone and Maroni everyone has to keep working tonight, including us." "And?" Ed asked, his patience already wearing thin "that was announced over the P.A system. Why come here to tell me what I already know? I'm sure you all must be busy enough as it is."

Kristen sighed "Look" she continued delicately "we all know about you and Penguin. Captain Essen thought it would be a good idea for me to come and check on you, make sure you are ok." **"Tap you for information more like"** Ed's doppelganger sneered **"You wait, in about 20 minutes you'll be summoned to the Captain's office so they can question you about Penguin. To be honest I'm surprised it took them this long. No wonder this place never gets anything done, incompetent fools."** Shut up, Ed thought viciously, I don't need your input. 

"Well I'm just peachy" Ed told Kristen with a cheer that he didn't feel "be sure to thank Captain Essen for concern. I appreciate it." Kristen however, made no reply. She was staring at the examination table, terror written all over her face. Edward followed her gaze only to find, to his dismay, Officer Dougherty's police badge lying there in plain sight. Kristen mouthed wordlessly as she looked from the badge to the skull to Edward, realisation suddenly hitting her. 

"I-I can explain" Ed whispered, holding his hands up in a placating gesture but Miss Kringle was having none of it. "You killed him!" she gasped, turning to leave in fright. Ed jumped forward and  grabbed her by the arm, holding her back. "No wait" he shrieked "you don't understand. I did it to protect you. I couldn't stand seeing someone get treated the way he was treating you so I tried to get him to leave you alone, to leave Gotham, but he wouldn't listen. I swear, I didn't mean for it to turn out like this. I was trying to help you, you have to believe me!" Kristen slapped him hard around the face as she yanked herself out of his grasp. "Help?! Help?!" she screeched "You're a psychopath. You're a murderer, and I'm going to make sure that everyone knows it. No wonder you're tied up with a monster like Penguin, you're just as bad as he is!"

Suddenly she found herself pinned against the wall and Edward's hand around her throat. "Oswald is not a monster" Ed growled "and neither am I." He took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself down, attempting to stay in control. "Look, it's ok. You're safe. I wont hurt you, I'm not a killer. I can't let you leave until you understand that" Ed continued gently, not realising what a firm grip he had on her or the damage that it was doing "but I wont hurt you, I promise. You have to believe me, Kristen. Kristen?"

As the emotional haze of excitement lifted the first thing he noticed was how Kristen's eyes had fluttered shut. Finally releasing her from the grip that he didn't know he'd had her in he watched, traumatized, as slid down onto the floor where she moved no more. "Oh dear" he murmured. What had he done?

**"We had no choice."**

"Miss Kringle was innocent!" Ed screamed at the vision of himself that was surveying the scene with grim self assurance, obviously confident that their actions were justified "I only started this to try and help. I never meant to kill her." **"And what would have happened if you hadn't, huh?"** his double replied calmly yet confidently. She would have turned me in, Ed thought morosely, but I probably would have deserved it. The question was, what was he going to do now?

He began to pace up and down as he weighed his options, all too aware that he could be discovered at any moment. What ever he was going to do he'd have to do it fast. He went over the pros and cons as he tried to figure out his best course of action, a difficult conclusion to come to as his 'other self' kept interrupting every couple of seconds with seemingly no intention other than to confuse him. Finally however, he made his decision. He was gong to turn himself in.  With a humourless laugh he made his way to the door, reflecting on how much easier his arrest would be seeing as he was already at the police station. It seemed fate worked in mysterious, if not terrible, ways. 

**"You've forgotten something important, you know."**

"What?" Ed asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. He vaguely registered the fact that Captain Essen was making an announcement over the P.A system, summoning him and Kristen to her office. Time was running out fast. **"Penguin"** the other Ed replied simply **"Are you seriously going to give up everything you have with him for the sake of two** **people who are already dead?"** "I need to do the right thing" Ed insisted.

**"No you don't. It's not like it will make any difference to your victims anyway so what's the point? Oswald loves and respects you. He could use you, just like everyone else does, but despite the fact that you have loads to offer him he has never attempted to manipulate you in anyway because he cares about you. Are you really stupid enough to think that you'll ever get that lucky again? Besides, it's not as if he'll be afraid of a little darkness. He could probably see it in you right from the start. And what's more, he needs you. Do you think you can sit in a cell and do nothing whilst he's out there with no one to look out for him? Come on, let's find our man and help him bring this city to it's knees."**

And despite everything Edward couldn't help but agree. It seemed that a life of crime was his best option after all. Ed smiled slightly, allowing himself to finally relish the subtle thrill he had been feeling since he'd driven his knife into Dougherty the first time. The man had had it coming he thought. Kristen's demise was unfortunate and tragic but Dougherty? Ed didn't regret what had happened to Dougherty one jolt. That however, was irrelevant right now. What mattered now was Oswald.


	7. A drowned Fish signals good fortune.

"Nobody knows about this place, right? Nobody?"

"Nobody. Anybody who did is dead. We'll be safe here."

A doomed sentence if ever there was one, as was proved a second later. Now Oswald was far from happy as it was. Sure, he had escaped Maroni but the way things were looking he was destined to either remain a prisoner of Jim and the GCPD or be left to the mercy of Carmine Falcone. Neither of these were very attractive options and were a far cry from what Penguin had originally planned so as far as he was concerned he had every right to be grumpy. His mood only worsened when he caught sight of the girl walking towards them carrying a gun.

"Hello" she said casually, as though she had merely bumped into them on the street "What's up?" Before they could answer her however, the clanging sound of the garage door opening behind them made the company whip round only to find themselves staring open mouthed at none other than Fish Mooney. "I know, I know" she crowed with a satisfied smile "It's astonishing. Sometimes I astonish myself." She was flanked by a gang of people that none of them recognised and it was clear that an attempt to fight their way out would be fruitless. She was the one in control and it was obvious from the way that she was conducting herself that she knew it, Oswald couldn't help but grudgingly respect that confidence. Still, that respect would not help save her. In returning to Gotham Fish had merely put herself back in the firing line, back on the list of people he would have to dispose of if he was going to take his rightful place as the King of Gotham.  The question was, how exactly was he going to do that?

It was this that he pondered as he was tied up alongside Gordon, Falcone and Bullock. Butch was left free and as Penguin watched Fish's face as the two of them were reunited he could tell that this was only going to get worse. Zsasz may be the one who had done the actual brainwashing, on Carmine's orders, but Fish would no doubt hold him responsible for Butch's current state which meant that his chances of receiving a quick death should things go wrong had now been officially extinguished.

After a quick phone call Fish re-joined her prisoners, ready to share the news. "I just made a sweet deal with Maroni" she informed them " He told me I could have all my territories back and all I have to do in return is give him Carmine's head." Taking advantage of her laps in attention Oswald tried to signal to Butch, banking on Zsasz's conditioning on holding long enough for him to use Butch to help him escape. He didn't succeed. "Uh Fish, I need to go and lie down" Butch mumbled in Fish's ear before leaving, looking very much like a man who was struggling with a massive headache.

"What did you do to that poor soul, you sadist?" Fish hissed. "I assure you..." Oswald began but he was silenced instantly. "You will die a slow and painful death on account of Butch" Fish growled, pointing a long pointed nail in his face threateningly before turning her attention to the others "You too Carmine." "You, we'll keep it simple" she told Gordon looking at him with frustration and distaste. "And you" she said to Bullock who stared back nervously "We're cool. Any questions?" Bullock sighed with relief. "How are you going to kill them?" the young girl with the gun who had greeted them asked with a smile. "Ooh, I like this girl" Fish chuckled, putting her arm around her before leading her away. Now all that they could do was wait.

**********************************************************************************************

"Ed, where are you going? Where is Kristen?" Captain Essen yelled in confusion as Edward darted across the room. "Not right now Captain, I'm busy" Ed called back.

"Detective Alvarez" he said, gripping the officer firmly by the arm and pulling him aside "a word?" "Not now Nygma" Alvarez snapped only to find himself being shoved roughly against a near by desk. "I need to know the last known whereabouts of the Penguin" Ed continued seriously. "I don't have time for this" Alvarez grumbled as he attempted to push Edward off him. Then he let out a sharp gasp as a small, blood stained knife was pressed against his throat.

"When you're hurt, it is there. It strikes without warning and is merciless in it's work. It is there when I break your legs and it is there when I slaughter your family. What is it?"

The room was deadly silent as everyone stared at Edward in alarmed bewilderment. "The answer is pain" Ed informed Alvarez coldly when the cop failed to answer "which is what you will get if you don't help me find my boyfriend. Now, where is Penguin?" "The last we heard he, Gordon, Bullock and Falcone were heading for the warehouse district in a stolen ambulance. That's all I know" Alvarez blurted out. Ed beamed delighted and released him before turning his attention back to Captain Essen.

"I left Miss Kringle's body in the lab" he informed her calmly as he headed for the door "I'm sure she'll wait for you to go and collect her." Essen gaped at him in horror before screaming "Stop him!" However, Edward Nygma had already left the building.

*************************************************************************************************

"So here he is."

"Fish, you mysterious, crazy, gorgeous killer, you. I love you" Salvatore Maroni said warmly as he pulled Fish into a hug that she didn't seem all to keen to receive. Maroni then swaggered over to where Falcone was tied up, grinning smugly at the old man who merely stared back at him unfazed. "This is delicious" Maroni gloated "Finally. You're hard to kill old man." "No. Your people are second rate" Falcone replied coldly.  Maroni raised an eyebrow, dumb smile still plastered across his face despite his obvious displeasure.

"Ms Mooney, if I may, a brief word" Oswald cried suddenly "I know my life is forfeit. I speak not for my sake but yours. Because after all, I still love and respect you." Fish rolled her eyes, unimpressed, but allowed him to continue none the less. "Kill me if you must, but keep Falcone alive" Penguin pleaded, knowing that success and his very life depended on his ability to pull this off "As soon as he is dead, Maroni has no use for you. You are simply a threat. He will kill you."

"Oh! Maroni exclaimed dismissively but Fish remained suspicious. "You think?" she asked Oswald, refusing to take her eyes off Maroni as she watched his reactions. "Why would he need another boss in town?" Oswald continued desperately "Another rival?" "That's where you are wrong, smart guy" Maroni interrupted, just as Oswald knew he would "A, she's not a rival because she's not a boss. She's an underboss."

Fish did a quick double take but composed herself in the blink of an eye. "An underboss takes orders. I don't take orders" she replied simply. "I know that" Maroni assured her "We're cool. Relax." "I'm relaxed" Fish said but Salvatore shook his head doubtfully. "I don't think you are, babes" he admitted. It took all Penguin's self control not to smile. Maroni had just sealed his fate.

"Please, don't call me babes" Fish asked calmly. "You see, not relaxed" Maroni teased, smiling humorously "Babes? Really? It's a term of endearment. Means I like you." Fish maintained a stony silence. "Fine, I misspoke" Maroni said, less jovially than before "You're not an underboss and you're not a baby. You tell me what you are." "What we are Sal, are partners" Fish insisted. "Whatever you want" Maroni agreed "Partners. I'm partner number one and you're partner number two. That's the deal right? I'm number one, and you are...?" "Number two" Fish replied quietly and it was obvious from her face that his patronising tone had not gone unnoticed. "There you go. Simple math" he continued "One, two Babes. Oops. Sorry, that's the last time I swear."

He let out a short laugh before turning to address his men. "Guys, can you feel the buzz in the air? That's victory" he proclaimed proudly "Redemption. Power." He pointed to Falcone. "When this old man dies" Maroni continued "we will rule Gotham. We're building a dynasty. We will whip this town like a rented mule. "

"Right, babes?" 

Fish glared at him furiously but the foolish man continued to dig himself deeper into his hole, seemingly unaware of his impending doom. It seemed he wasn't the only one blind to his situation, several of his men were stupid enough to laugh along with him which only ensured that they would gain a share in his fate. "All right" Maroni chuckled as he looked at Fish's angry face "relax. I'm kidding you." He then focussed his attention back on his men. "guys, no, seriously" he insisted with a grin "Don't call her babes or toots or what have you. It's a women's lib thing."

  BANG!

"I am relaxed" Fish said coolly as she watched Maroni's body hit the floor, the smoking gun still grasped in her hand. There was a slip second of shocked silence. Then havoc ensued. Oswald struggled free of his bonds, watching as Falcone and the two cops did the same before fleeing as fast they could in the opposite direction. Penguin however, chose a different strategy. Even someone fast would have zero chance of escape, Fish had too many followers. They would capture you and drag you straight back here in no time so it was pointless to try and run. Instead, Oswald made for cover and waited, a gun stolen from one of Maroni's dead men at his side. All he needed to do was get Falcone and Fish out of the way then Gotham would be his and when Fish's minions dragged the escapees back here he'd have the perfect opportunity to do just that. As he had suspect he didn't have to wait long.

"Gotta hand it to ya' Fish" Bullock said as he and the others were walked over to Mooney at gunpoint "You really know how to stop a show." "I couldn't help myself, Harvey. The man vexed me" she replied almost cheerfully "Crazy move. Possibly a good move too. We'll see. The battlefield is in flux. You could be looking at the new queen of Gotham." "Congratulations my dear" said Falcone suddenly "I'm quitting Fish. I'm out." Oswald gasped silently. That was unexpected. "Does this mean I don't have to kill you?" Fish asked Carmine "You're going to retire someplace warm, lay back and read your little funny papers?" "That was the thought" Falcone admitted with a tired smile. "Nice thought" Fish snarled, taking aim.

Before she could do anything else however, Oswald made his move. Everyone scattered, trying to get out of the line of fire but Oswald's shots still managed to slay most of Fish's followers instantly. Discarding his now empty machine gun for a abandoned pistol, Penguin reeled round in search of his target. "Fish, where are you?!" he screamed before catching a glimpse of her as she made her way up the stairs and immediately giving chase. 

 

"Go" Jim Gordon cried and, taking advantage of Penguin's pursuit of Fish, he, Bullock and Falcone made a mad dash for the late Salvatore Maroni's car. They left the former safe house at breakneck speed and they didn't slow down as they hurtled their way through the warehouse district. "I'll be glad when this is over" Bullock groaned. "Me too" Jim agreed.

SCREECH!

They slammed on the breaks as a light blue car appeared as if out of nowhere and came to a juddering halt in front of them, blocking their way.

"Detective Gordon!"

The three men stared in amazement as Edward Nygma poked his head out of the car window. "Ed, what are you doing here?" Gordon called back. "I don't have time to talk, detective. Please just tell me where Penguin is" Ed asked civilly. "For gods sake, get out of the damn road Nygma!" Bullock bellowed, beeping his horn angrily. "It's not safe here, Ed. Just get out of here" Jim added. "I'm only going to ask once more so I suggest you give me an answer" Ed shouted back as he pulled out a gun and pointed it at them "Where is my boyfriend?!" "Jesus!" Bullock gasped, looking as shocked as Jim felt. "Penguin is at a warehouse a block south from here, first one on the right. I last saw him heading for the roof" Falcone said unexpectedly. Edward beamed at him. "Thank you Don Falcone, much appreciated" he replied happily "have nice day gentlemen."

Before any of them could say another word he had sped off in the direction of the warehouse without a back wards glance and their path ahead was clear once more. There was an awkward silence. "Who exactly is that man?" Falone asked curiously, his tone surprisingly conversational. "He's in charge of forensics at the GCPD" Gordon answered listlessly, he was in a daze. "Except he seems like he's finally gone wacko" Bullock added harshly as they got the car moving again. There was a pause as Falcone digested this information. "Well I wish him and Penguin the best of luck" he said finally. Jim turned to gape at him in amazement whilst Bullock snorted incredulously "You are one crazy old man." Falcone just shrugged.

 

 

"My friend, remember your training. I order you to shoot her" Oswald commanded, struggling desperately to keep Fish at arms length. "Butch, don't listen to him" she cried "He did something to your mind. I'm your girl. Remember, I'm your girl!" "Kill her now!" Oswald screeched. Butch looked between the two of them, the gun shaking in his hand. He was obviously in torment. Finally he made his decision.

BANG! BANG!

Oswald fell to the floor and Fish doubled over, both of them clutching the bullet wounds that Butch's shots had inflicted in pain. Zsasz's conditioning was strong but obviously not strong enough to override Butch's feelings for Fish entirely it seemed. Tears dripped down Butch's face as he reached out tentatively to Fish. "Oh god, what did I do? I'm so sorry" he said, distraught "I'm so sorry. I would never hurt you. I love you, Fish." "It's ok, it's not your fault" Fish gasped shakily "I love you too. He messed with your mind, it's not your fault. I'm gonna be fine. You know me." She cupped his face in her hands.

The next second Butch crumpled to the floor as Oswald fit him over the head. Oswald and Fish glared at each other for a moment, neither one moving. The quiet before the storm. "Good bye Fish" Oswald spat viciously. "It's all good" Fish replied, composed right up to the end. Suddenly Penguin charged forwards with a yell,  pushed Fish over the low wall behind her and watched as she plummeted down and hit eerie black waters of the river below with a sickening splash. 

There was a brief silence before Penguin broke into shaky laughter. He'd done it! "I'm the King of Gotham" he breathed, his eyes sparkling manically. He hoisted himself up onto the low wall with difficulty and looked out over his new kingdom. "I'm the King of Gotham!" he screamed jubilantly "I'm the King of Gotham!"

"Not for long."

Oswald turned, wobbling precariously on the edge, to find Butch pointing a gun at him. "You and Zsasz did a real number on me, I can tell you" Butch growled, his face contorted with rage "but no more. You killed Fish so now I'm going to kill you."

"Not so fast bozo!" 

Butch whirled round to see who had spoken but before he managed it the sound of a gunshot rang out and he clutched his shoulder in pain, dropping his gun in the process. Grunting in pain he looked up at the sound of running footsteps in an attempt to see his attacker but all he saw was the but of a gun as it came crashing down onto his head, knocking him unconscious.

"Wow!" Ed panted, out of breath from the run upstairs but also giddy from excitement "I've never shot anyone before. What a day." "E-ed, what are you doing here?" Oswald stammered in amazement. "Looking for you" Ed replied as he stepped over Butch "I would have caught up with you sooner but I was busy with my first murders. The life of crime is quite thrilling, isn't it?" Edward grinned at his boyfriend who was stood, shivering and injured, at the edge of the roof. "Here, let me help you" he added with a giggle.

"Did you say murders?" Oswald asked as Ed put an arm around him to help him down, almost topping over himself in the process. Ed wasn't exactly strong. "Ah yes" Ed replied casually "Officer Dougherty and Miss Kringle, but that doesn't matter right now. I saw a very dead Salvatore Maroni on my way up here. I take it that means what I think it means." "Yes" Oswald cried, exhilarated , looking up into Ed's eyes  happily "I'm the King of Gotham." "I always knew you would be" Ed replied fondly.

He placed a hand tenderly on Oswald's cheek, stroking gently with his thumb as he leant down and captured Oswald's lips with his own. Oswald wrapped his arms around Edward's waist ad pulled him closer, humming contentedly as Ed's eyes fluttered blissfully shut. "I love you, Ed" Oswald breathed as they finally pulled apart, his heart racing. "I love you too, Oswald" Ed replied, quietly and reverently. They kissed once more, the wind whipping their hair as they held each other close.

"You said you would stay away until the war was all over" Oswald reminded Ed sternly but he couldn't stop himself from smiling all the same. "You once told Detective Gordon that walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light" Ed said after a pause "Well, I think that maybe I might be at more at home in the dark than I first thought. Either way, the fact is that I don't want to ever be alone again if I can be with you instead. Your darkness, your light, I want all of it. Everything. I love you and I want all of you." Oswald blushed bright pink as he gazed at Ed adoringly. "And here I thought I was the sentimentalist" he replied, smirking good naturedly.  He reached up and lovingly tucked away one of Edward's adorable errant curls as he considered the matter.

Ed was a dangerous man, deep down he had known that right from the start. He was smart, often underestimated and had a dark streak that Oswald had spotted right from the off set. The sort of person who could help Oswald bring Gotham tumbling to the ground if they both wished it. But Edward was also kind, loyal and he loved spending time with him simply because he enjoyed his company and what's more, Ed was one of the only people who enjoyed his in return. Even if they didn't make a fearsome team he would have wanted Ed in his life anyway, for now and forever. 

"Here's to us, my love" he said finally, stealing another kiss "Gotham wont know what hit it." Ed grinned. He had never in his wildest dreams ever imagined being loved like this and not by someone he cared for and admired as much as he did Oswald. "Now, let's get you out of here" he replied "even if the GCPD don't turn up you're going to bleed out if e don't patch you up soon. We can send Zsasz or someone to sort out Butch, I'm sure he'll have his uses. We need to get you home before your mother starts to worry." Oswald nodded in agreement and they made their way arm in arm back to Ed's car, already making plans for the future.                                                                           

                                                                                                                     **THE END.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are. The end! Thank you to everyone who has read this story, left kudos or left a nice comment. It really means an awful lot to me. I LOVE YOU GUYS! I hope you liked it.  
> So anyway, as I mentioned in the notes on the previous chapter I am hoping to write a sequel so if you are interested then keep an eye out and, fingers crossed, we should hopefully see each other again. :)
> 
> *In award acceptant speech voice* I would like to thank all the people on Tumblr who helped me with facts about flowers, sending me riddles etc. You were all incredibly helpful. Credit to the anon(s) who wrote/found the 'helping hand' and 'pain' riddles from chapters 2 and 7. They were just perfect, thank you! Special thank you to (who I consider) my best friend @dragoncat on Tumblr for all their encouragement and help. You are great! :)


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